Free Verse Story opening
I am a father and husband and I see no hope that I will be anything other. I have tried. I have tried so hard to keep up with my obligations. Not the obligations in the broader sense on why I should spend quality time with my children but rather that of respecting the trust my children place in me and the love that they and my wife extend tome. I want to die but I do not want to hurt those close to me.
I cannot explain what compels me to this decision. I feel nothing. I feel nothing on my own – no love, joy, grief, but the occasional sadness and anger. Life echoes off others and onto me. I am the unresponsive viewer to the world around me. Why anyone would love me… I cannot understand. What I suspect is that we all are just playing roles and which cheapens our existence that much more.
Failure. Incompetent
It has occurred to me that suicide is, ultimately, a selfish act. Yet, it is also a deeply personal and intimate decision. It seems rational then to my irrational mind to reconcile these two conflicting values. And the only way that I can conceive how to do this is to construct the circumstances by where no one cares if I live or die.
Herein in lays my plan for a dead man…